I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
