So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
