Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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