Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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