Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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