i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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