Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
