we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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