I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
