If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...