I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.