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• (207): View more from Maine

  she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.

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• (760): View more from California

  She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (714): View more from California

  BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL

  (1-714): View more from California

  Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas

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• (863): View more from Florida

  After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.

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