Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well

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(812): View more from Indiana

They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal

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(619): View more from California

I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.

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(813): View more from Florida

I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.

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(916): View more from California

Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?

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(707): View more from California

I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!

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