...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament