Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
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I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
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Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!