I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
