bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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