my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
