he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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