I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
