My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
