5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
