he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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