We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
