I have demons in me.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
