he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
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I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
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Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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