We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Drake has all the answers
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
