I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just cut my nipple shaving
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
