Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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