STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
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Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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