lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
