Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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