before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize