Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
