I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
