also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
