I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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