if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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