Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
