In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
