She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
