i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
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So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
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