..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
