from now on my penis is your penis
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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