I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
don't judge my taste in strippers
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
