you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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