My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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