Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I have fence marks all over my body
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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