no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
