Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
