Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I think i got beer on your cat.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize