i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize