Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
