We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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