how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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