I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize