if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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