Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
the condom got lost in my hair
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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