It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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