Rock
Scissors
Fuck
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
