Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
