$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My first STD was from a foam party
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
