I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
