do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
