I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
